People often set goals to fulfill some aspect of their desires in life. They need goals to satisfy their need for certainty and control. For most people, setting goals is essential to their success in any matter or project they want to achieve. Therefore, they are generally ambitious people by nature.

But at the same time, there is an important question to consider: why might the goal become a problem that oppresses people and makes them lose their self-confidence, and why might so many of them fall victim to their goals?

Many of them may feel anxious, frustrated, distracted, uncreative, lose motivation, develop a sense of failure or forms of procrastination, create unnecessary tension and stress. What is worse is that they may think that “when I reach my goal, I will be happy”, creating the idea that happiness exists somewhere in the future, outside of their present circumstances, not available to them now, and tied only to the achievement or non-achievement of the goal. As a result, they become victims of their goals.

Here are the basic things to avoid falling victim to your goals:

1. Make sure your goals are your own because often they aren’t. If they are filled with “must, ought, and should,” then this indicates that they are someone else’s goals. Make sure your goals are aligned with your life’s values and purpose.

2. Discover your passion. At a time when you may think you know what you want in life, it is important that you focus on your passion in all aspects of your life, and evaluate your skills regularly. Understanding what you're good at doing and what matters to you makes it much easier to discover your goals. When you discover why your goals are what they are, you can turn inward and pursue your passion, since the purpose of the goal is to try to get you to do something you wouldn't normally do.

3. Be accurate with yourself. Is what you want the goal itself or the feeling that having a purpose in life gives you? You imagine your dream car and want to feel independent and free. You want to be promoted at work to feel empowered and in power. You want extra income to feel more secure. You want to feel powerful and in control... Whatever your goal is, make sure it's linked to a change in the emotional state that you want.

4. Take control of your life and its course. Goals help you make the uncertain, more stable. And if you are like most people, you were taught in your childhood that if you want to be successful, you must have goals, and therefore these are not goals, but rather the result of the expectations of others.

5. Differentiate between a goal and a plan. Don’t confuse goals with a list of tasks or plans. Setting goals is not the same as making a list of things you have to do, such as going to the supermarket, for example, achieving a certain result, or prioritizing some daily tasks. Realizing that you have to do something is not the same as succeeding in achieving a goal.

6. Don't let your goal prevent you from other opportunities. Often, when you have a goal, you put all your energy and focus on it, and you become less open to other goals and possibilities. There are a thousand ways to reach your destination, but when you set a goal, you limit yourself to some way to reach your destination. So, always remember, it's not just about the destination, it's about the journey as well.

7. Ask yourself “Is my goal clear”? What if the goal is not clear? Or what if it's obvious but you're not sure if it's right for you? Define what you want most, why you want it, and make sure your goals are smart, and adopt these criteria: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.

8. Ask for help. Asking others what you are good at is important to help facilitate the goal-setting process. Although many people's opinions should be ignored, many will provide valuable information about the things you should focus on in life.

9. Be responsible for failure or success in achieving your goal. Sometimes failure is a learning process. When you fail, you will learn, and keep trying. In return, when you succeed, be proud of yourself and every step you take towards achieving your goal. Zig Ziegler says, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

10. Reward yourself. Achieving your goal should be fun. When you reach a goal, whether it's big or small, why not reward yourself?

Goals require willpower. Whatever goals you have, achieving them requires willpower that may sometimes be limited in resources. You sure feel exhausted when you use up your willpower so much. decent! Stop, check reality and your path, reflect on the direction your life is going, shift your focus and energy on who you are, on your true abilities, and look at the things that spark your curiosity to nurture your passion again. You may need to change your goal. Think about it! Purpose and passion can change over time, which is normal if it serves your purpose.